Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Yay! #1 has arrived

Well. First date as a result of eHarmony has been scheduled for next week. Took three weeks to get there because it takes so long to do the whole guided communication thing, but I actually feel good about it because i feel like i know this person enough to know we will have at least something to talk about.

A few observations thus far of the online dating process:
  • many guys have pictures with their friends as the profile pic ... what? you have zero photos of yourself by yourself?
  • and what is with the picture of you with a random girl who could be your ex? how about at least cropping her out?
  • other popular photo companions include babies and/or small children as well as small dogs. is that supposed to make girls say "ahhhh ... how cute"? well ... not this girl ...
  • another popular photo subject - wedding shots. "my buddies wedding". great, is that supposed to show me you are ready to commit? cause all i see is that you look funny in a tux ... like you are going to your senior prom
  • under no circumstances can "beer pong" be considered a "passion in life"
  • dido Guitar Hero
  • and let's define "likes to travel" ... "travel" does not mean going up north to the family cabin. no.
  • please don't use the word "cuddle" around me ... especially in response to the question "what is an interest you would hope you could share with your partner."

Monday, January 25, 2010

Today's key numbers = 22 and 38

Not a good start to this blogging thing. Start, post for a week, then stop for two. Yikes! In my own defense, I was on holiday traveling, then I was sick, then I had to catch up on work.


Now that all of those are done, back to online dating. Today I went through 38 (!!!) matches and made communicate or close decisions. I check my new matches daily and if I feel really strongly either way, I will take action right then and there. Most of the time however I am on the fence. There is nothing that is an instant click, but there is nothing really “wrong” either. So I leave them open and wait to see what the guy does. Getting a bit frustrated with this however, because I do not feel like the guys take any action at all! Maybe that is how it gets to be after a few months. But for me, I am committed, respond!


22 guys in some level of communication. Only one in open communication – the British guy. The first one I got there with and have sent two messages with no response. Sad. I think I may have been too forward with the open ended questions – way too long of answers. Since then I have done a few more of those and standard answers are only one or two sentences long. Oops. I think I scared him off which is really disappointing.

There is another guy who am just now reaching open communication with. We shall nickname him “55 country guy.” He seems interesting … but we’ll see. Open communication to come from him first.


So … um … when do that actual dates start? For $200 I expect a few dates …


(Stuck in a moment)

Listening to: Naïve by Lily Allen

Watching: Kuch Naa Kaho

Reading: Vampire Diaries (I know, I know)

Feeling: like I messed up with that first guy

Thinking: that a third message would just appear desperate

Happy: because work is calm right now

Excited: for the thought of more traveling!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Open communication ... what does that mean?

Well, I have made it to Open Communication with the first match from eHarmony. The question now is, what exactly does this entail? Is this more online communicating for awhile? Or just getting the details to actually meet in person? Help ... i need some guidance!

On another note, it is kind of strange the feeling you get when a match "closes" the match. In other words ... they are not interested. A) I have never met them, B) most likely I would not have been interested given that we probably did not have too much in common and C) this is the internet! Yet somehow, every time i see a match closed, i feel a stab of rejection. Weird feeling ...


(Stuck in a moment)
  • Listening to: The Show - Lenka ... and Young Folks - Peter Bjorn And John
  • Watching: Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
  • Feeling: a bit confused
  • Thinking: that she is very grateful for all she has
  • Happy: because life is pretty darn good
  • Excited: to have my work email inbox down to only 6 messages! crazy!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Pondering my answers ...

Oh my goodness! That first match from eHarmony (the British one) sent through his answers to my open ended questions. Guess what? Great answers! It seems that we have a number of things in common. Now I just need to ponder my responses to his questions.

(Stuck in a moment)
  • Listening to: Don't Forget Me - Way Out West
  • Watching: Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
  • Feeling: that i got my bangs cut a bit too short today
  • Thinking: that this online dating thing may be worth it
  • Happy: that his answers were so good
  • Excited: for Thursday

Monday, January 4, 2010

Today's matches ...

A summary of today's matches and my reactions:
  1. eh
  2. N-O!
  3. Another big NO! Quote from profile: "I'm a 420 smoker, which I only bring up because it seems to be a "deal breaker" with some women." At least he is honest.
  4. boring profile, ok photo, but he asked to communicate with me ... so why not ... communication open.
  5. wow ... and NO! Quote ... he is thankful for: "The opportunity to live for a transient sliver of time and the myriad biological and environmental phenomena required to elicit such an invaluable gift."
  6. no
  7. perhaps
  8. fantasy football?!?!? no
  9. maybe ... leaving it till tomorrow

(Stuck in a Moment)
  • Listening to: No Sound but the Wind - The Editors
  • Watching: Gossip Girl
  • Feeling: like the right side of my mouth is enormous and drooling
  • Thinking: that getting cavities filled is really really horrible
  • Happy: that my washing machine was fixable
  • Excited: for beer, sausages, and kartofensalat

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe ...

First thing first. Need to pick the dating site. This was actually harder than I had originally imagined it would be. I only have one friend who has tried the dating sites (and she had success). She used Match.com and liked the experience, and I knew of two others from commercials and online. The three sites I looked into are eHarmony, Chemisty and Match. I have to say, it sucks that you cannot see the cost of any of these sites without actually signing up. Sneaky sneaky ...

First ... eHarmony
It was actually my mom who told me to try eHarmony. She had seen a commercial that said you could communicate for free for five days last week (whatever that means). Since this meant I could actually try out the services without committing to a long term contract and big dollar amount - my big fear in all this - I said "why not?"

Completed the registration process rather quickly - at this point, since this was the first time, it was kind of a novelty. Lots of questions about my habits and what I would want in a partner. Also lots of questions meant to delve deep into who I "really" am in order to match me to that perfect (haha) someone out there. Sigh.

As soon as the registration process was complete and I filled out my About Me section (open ended statements - the first impression matches have of you) i got my first five matches. Turns out that eHarmony puts you through a guided communication process. Sitll unsure what this really is since I have not done it, but looks like it is back and forth questions with potential matches to get you better aquainted before full Open Communication. Read the five matches - shot 4 of them down pretty much automatically. Here is one little catch with their "communicate for free" promtotion - only paying site users can access photos. So - they can see my pics, but I cannot see theres. That sucks - but in a way, maybe it is good. Focus on their statements rather than their faces.

BUT ... there was one guy that sounded really great. Even without a photo, he sounded good looking (haha, that sounds strange). His answers were honest yet witty and we seemed to have some things in common. Looks like he is actually from Europe - as I am - which means that maybe he is different from all these home-grown midwestern boys I have nothing in common with. To be frank, he appears to be British, and I happen to have a *little* something for British accents (like all girls). Anway, HE actually opened communication with me. First stage was him asking me 5 multiple choice questions. I answered and replied with my five.

Cost is pretty high - we are talking $200-$300 for a 6-12 month membership, and that has to be paid in full right away. Ouch.

So far eHarmony is my top choice because of the one potential match ... with a British accent.

Second ... Chemistry ...
My parents were actually over yesterday and I was showing my mom how eHarmony worked. She suggested I try out another site too just to see if i like it better. So we logged onto Chemistry.com and began the process all over again. Never smoke, love to travel, don't have kids, blah blah blah. Most personality questions of course. These ones were different than eHarmony and actually I thought more challenging. Those types that you have to click either agree or disagree. I am sitting here like "well, sometimes, i agree, but sometimes i disgree" ... grrr!!!

Anyway, Chemistry gave me 10 matches instantly for free. At this point my dad was also interested and hovering over my sholder in the office. One fun thing about Chermisty is that each person is given a personality descriptor:

I am an explorer. Each of you match is identified with their tag and it tells you which is best for you, etc. Anyway. On Chemistry you can see their photos, and I hate to say it, but we actually laughed at some of the poor guys and never even got around to reading anything about them before closing the match. Sorry! Chemisty also has these labels (one liners) that you see first. Some of them are just so laughable: looking for my partner in crime; how you doin'? (you are not Joey).

Unfotuntly there were no boys with British accents among these 10 matches from Chemistry. (haha) Actually, we shot down all 10 automatically. So far still eHarmony

And finally ... Match!
This is the site my friend had used and actually found someone thru. I started signed up, but by now I was just exhausted by all the questions. Additionally, I was unsure what Match had to offer over Chemistry and eHarmony. In fact, I think it had less to offer as I don't think it matches as much on personality traits/characteristics. It was also the cheapest at only like $100 for 6 months. But do you go for cost savings? Or substances? They started sending my matches instantly and I was a little turned off by the fact that people did not use real names on Match, but rather screennames. I don't like that - does not feel real or serious. I am just unsure how they make their matches I think Match is out for now, but they did send me a code good for 72 hours free full access to all their services (good until the end of 2010) so I am going to save that maybe give it a go later on.

And the winner is ... eHarmony.

After some discussion, decided to go with the most expensive (ahhh) and go for a full 12 months. If you are going to do something, do it right! I am hoping that by choosing eHarmony I will get better matches and that the guided communication process will help me to really get to know people before actually meeting them live. I am a bit nervous about that part. Match seemed too much like just a place for party people - the low cost version. Chemistry had those funny one liners that made me laugh. But I think what really sealed the deal was A) the free communication period and B) the match that was already made on eHarmony (I want to see where that one goes).

And we're off ...

A little hesitant. A little nervous. A lot unsure.

And I am not even talking about starting this blog! With the new year begun I decided to start a new chapter of my life and do a little experiment. Although I still have some reservations, my credit card number has been provided and the money has been paid - I have a 12 month subscription to an online dating site. Never thought it would happen, yet here I am. As I said, money has (so to speak) exchanged hands.

So I figured. If I am going to do this, let's do it right. Find the right site, commit to this little social experiment, and document that next 12 months and all it will bring.

Today, both accounts were activated. Tomorrow .... well, we'll see what that brings.

Ciao*


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