Monday, October 20, 2014

I've been dating since I was 17. I'm exhausted. Where is he?

Did you get the SATC quote reference in the title? Oh Charlotte .... 

I've been online dating for 4 years. Some breaks here and there, but pretty much 4 years of online dating. I've been on many first dates. Of which maybe 10% have led to second dates. And only 1% of those have led to more. Of that, there has been 1 "relationship" that came out of online dating.

I've done Eharmony, Match and (most recently) OkCupid. Eharmony was way too expensive and involved of a process, and the men weren't that great in the end. Match and OkCupid are really quite similar except the later is free.

In the end, it's a lot of the same thing and it's hit or miss on any given day. Some good guys .... some weird guys ... and some plain old (and I do mean old) creepy guys.

The part that bothers me the most are those men who really don't pay attention to your profile and just email a generic "hi" or "what's up". Come on, really? I will pretty much respond to any guy who actually calls out something from my profile or doesn't do a copy/paste, but something with some actual personality. And those are more rare than would think.

As I get older, one thing that I think about is: should I become more picky or less picky? On one side, the pool of eligible men is shrinking and I need to be more open. On the other, I am getting older and am looking more and more for someone more serious and that means that I have a right to be more picky. So, I'm torn.

Then you wonder what you should really put "out there". Do you put everything out there to hopefully find someone who sparks to your true self? Or do you make it more generic and open just to attract a wider range? But then do you really stand a chance for something with those people if you aren't up-front about who you are?

I wish I could do my own A/B test on OkCupid and put up like 4 different versions of my profile. All "me", but different versions of me ... different amounts and types of information offered up. One that's like my current one - travel photos with info about my interests and passions, etc. Then a different one that didn't include travel really, but maybe more focused on local things and photos from my recent 10K, a day at the apple orchard, etc. Then maybe a different version that shows me out with my friends in all the photos (which I actually hate in guy's profiles) and has a limited profile. Then a final one with no photo (haha, I wouldn't get any hits).

On that note ... I simultaneously just schedule a first date for this weekend while writing this post. Maybe there is hope out there ....

Then again ... maybe not ...

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