Monday, June 6, 2016


I'm not going to get into the craziness that is dating in this day and age (that would require me quitting my day job and only blogging on that topic for the entire summer), but I do want to cover one specific topic: ghosting

The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject's maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.

Carmen: How was your second date with Kyle?
Beth: I thought it went well, but I've texted him a couple of times since then and he's been ghosting me.
Carmen: What? I thought he was more mature than that..

In my dating experience, ghosting is everywhere. For example:

  • A guy I had been seeing for four months ghosted me. I do think it was kind of a mutual ghost, but I think it was more like 70/30 him ghosting me. 
  • Ghosting without even meeting is also a thing. Keeping a app or text conversation with someone you've never met going for days or weeks and then all of a sudden it stops and you get no response from the other person.
  • There is also the one I have most recently experienced which is a bit of a modified ghosting. I don't hear from the guy for 7-10 days and I pretty much chalk it up as "done ...moving on" only to get a text from him randomly (with really random content) after a week of no communication. And the cycle continues for multiple week. This one I want to say is a little more "sh*t or get off the pot",  but it has some elements of ghosting.
I'd rather just know if - in the iconic cliche - he's just not that into me. Get it over with so I can move on.

To close, please enjoy this video of "Ghoster's Paradise" to help articulate the point. 


I have something really important to share. I have recently been diagnosed (by myself) as suffering from FOMOOPP. Some of you may be familiar with the more general version of this condition known as FOMO. FOMOOPP is related, but more targeted to impacting a specific group of people – photographers.

FOMOOPP: Fear of Missing Out On Perfect Photo

This is a serious, but manageable condition. It usually flares up when traveling, but can be triggered at home as well. The condition has been exacerbated in recent years by the development of digital cameras and high capacity memory cards, as well as smart phones with cameras and large memory storage.

Symptoms include:
·         Taking multiple photos of the same thing from slightly different angles (this can be of “things” such as monuments, landscapes, etc as well people, including but not limited to: portraits, gym mirror selfies, group photos, selfies (in general)
·         Going back to the same place multiple times to take the same photo in slightly different lighting/cloud conditions
·         Constantly second guessing if you have the right angle/lighting/aperture
·         Downloading all photos at the end of the day when traveling to determine if the photos are good, and going back to retake the same photos with slight tweaks based on what you saw from the downloaded photos
·         Using the burst feature to excess (this can be both on DSLR and smart phone cameras)
·         Take the same photo with both a DSLR as well as your smart phone
·         Walking until you cannot feel your feet because you need to make sure you got that perfect photo
·         Never actually putting away your camera because you may miss the perfect photo

I joke … but this is legit. I definitely have a hard time with this when I am traveling, and my recent trip to Washington DC was no exception. I went back to the same spots multiple times to make sure I captured the perfect photo. I walked around the Washington Monument no less than 5 times over a 4 day trip to make sure I had the perfect photo conditions with monument/flags/clouds/lighting/etc. Then of course I gotta get it on my iphone too … in recular and square format. Ohhhh, and I better Snapchat it too!!! 3,500 photos later, and I’m sure I missed out on some good photos. Sigh.

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