Monday, June 6, 2016


I'm not going to get into the craziness that is dating in this day and age (that would require me quitting my day job and only blogging on that topic for the entire summer), but I do want to cover one specific topic: ghosting

The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject's maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.

Carmen: How was your second date with Kyle?
Beth: I thought it went well, but I've texted him a couple of times since then and he's been ghosting me.
Carmen: What? I thought he was more mature than that..

In my dating experience, ghosting is everywhere. For example:

  • A guy I had been seeing for four months ghosted me. I do think it was kind of a mutual ghost, but I think it was more like 70/30 him ghosting me. 
  • Ghosting without even meeting is also a thing. Keeping a app or text conversation with someone you've never met going for days or weeks and then all of a sudden it stops and you get no response from the other person.
  • There is also the one I have most recently experienced which is a bit of a modified ghosting. I don't hear from the guy for 7-10 days and I pretty much chalk it up as "done ...moving on" only to get a text from him randomly (with really random content) after a week of no communication. And the cycle continues for multiple week. This one I want to say is a little more "sh*t or get off the pot",  but it has some elements of ghosting.
I'd rather just know if - in the iconic cliche - he's just not that into me. Get it over with so I can move on.

To close, please enjoy this video of "Ghoster's Paradise" to help articulate the point. 

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